Ribbons and Shards

Lately I've been having conversations with people around all kinds of difficult topics in their lives: struggling marriages, issues with kids, pieces of the past that keep popping up out of nowhere, anger, hurt, bitterness, illness, death.  Quite a list.

I'm thankful for those who are brave enough to share from their hearts. It reminds me how desperately we need to be known as well as to know others. A community weaves together through the ups and downs, highs and lows. Its strength is in its truth.  Some communities have an impressive tapestry of connections, but no strength to withstand a tempest.

Just a few days ago during our VBS parent night, each small group created its own web of ribbon while the teachers read about Phillip and the Ethiopian from the book of Acts in the bible. Every time a different speaker read, the person holding the ball of ribbon grabbed hold of the line and threw the ball to someone who didn't have any yet. By the end of the reading, everyone was holding onto the ribbon, forming a colorful interweaving between each member.

The point of that activity was to demonstrate how God weaves our lives together at just the right time and in just the right way to fulfill His perfect purposes in us. Thinking back over the conversations I mentioned earlier, I realize that each time someone shares their heart with me, they are throwing me the ribbon. Am I grabbing hold? Am I interceding in prayer? Am I taking their need to heart? Or am I just passing it on to the next open hand, hoping that person will have the love, the courage, the grace to step up?

Here's where I have to admit that at times I have dropped the ribbon. I have missed out on community. I have missed out on the privilege to connect with a sister or brother in Christ who needed His Truth in a situation. I've missed out on God's blessing.

Sometimes I don't want to pass the ribbon.  I don't want to be the one sharing. That's need. Not comfortable. Not easy. Not palatable.

The good news is that our God never gives up. His patient persistence outlasts my resistance.  First Corinthians 12:18 states that "God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose" (ESV).  That's the challenge. Be where He placed me. Be present. Be alert. Be real.

Be real.  He is real.

A little over a month ago, while thinking of some tough situations, I wrote these words:

Broken People

We are broken, broken people

Praising God beneath the steeple.

We are broken, broken people in God’s hand.

We are broken, broken people

Serving God beneath the steeple.

We are broken,  broken people in God’s hand.

But if we’re broken

Then we’re fixable

And shards make great mosaics

People recognize His grace among the pieces.

If we’re broken

Then our bragging rights

Smash against His Holy Light

And we recognize He’ll place us

Where He pleases.

We are broken, but we’re His,

Because of Jesus.

Thankfully there’ll come a day

When our brokenness is swept away

Thankfully there’ll come a day

We’re free.

And we’ll look into that Holy Light

 Of the One once broken for our kind

And He’ll say, “My broken child,

You are whole—come Home with Me!”

And if we’re broken

Then we’re fixable

And shards make great mosaics.

People recognize His grace among the pieces.

If we’re broken

Then our bragging rights

Smash against His Holy Light

And we recognize He’ll place us

Where He pleases.

We are broken, but we’re His,

Because of Jesus.

Just Another Day?

June 5, 2000. For those in Sumatra, it was tragic as a deadly earthquake rocked the land. For others, this was just another day in a new millennium. Same cereal for breakfast, same TV show after dinner.

For those of us in Tempe, Arizona, it was hot. One hundred eleven degrees. Yes, you read it correctly, 111 degrees.  For a man named Trent and a woman named Bridget (that's me, folks), it was a dream come true--our wedding day.  The sun rose like any other day, warm and bright. But this day, this day was different.

I sat by the pool and spent time with my Lord in close conversation. He-Who-Never-Changes would walk me from one name to another. He assured me that morning that He would stay the same no matter what. And He was giving me the man of my dreams for real. I just knew everything was going to be wonderful.

And pretty much everything was wonderful. Oh, there was the usual: a bridesmaid "whoops, I forgot to bring the ring for pre-wedding photos!" moment; 111-degree heat stroke hovering at our shoulders for the lengthy outdoor pictures (which turned out beautifully); the tape player that chose to run at its own pace and warp the music for our grand entrance; the groomsmen who made last minute changes to the steps we were to walk up--without telling us.

There was also the incredible blessing of so many smiling faces starting us off on the first day of the rest of our lives. All that previous year Trent and I said we wanted our wedding to be Simple, Elegant, and Enjoyable.  The Lord definitely brought that about for us. Thanks to our parents for all of their love and support, and especially to my mom for the many last-minute decisions made to keep things running smoothly!

Thirteen years now walk beside us.  Each year shows its crowning glories and sound defeats. These are the mile markers we pass by again and again, reminding us of our own great fallibility and His own great love.  These are the proofs of faith and trust. These are the foundation stones of a legacy.

June 5, 2013.  Just another day? Perhaps. For Trent and Bridget Groothuis, this day is a gift.

The J-Crew

The J-Crew

Christmas Morning 2012

Jedidiah at Whispering Hope Farm

 

Joanna being positive in a sour situation

Joel contemplating his next move

Joshua in his element

Thirteen years ago while Trent and I drove his little Ford Escort from Chicago to Phoenix, we decided to make a list of potential names for our children. Yes, we still had two months to go before our wedding, but there were some things that couldn't be put off.  Names. Pretty important stuff!

The easy part was deciding we wanted meaningful names from the bible. The hard part was choosing the first letter of each name. Obviously we would want to choose names all beginning with the same letter. It was practical. It was cute. It was--insane, actually, but we wouldn't realize that until much later.

After some discussion, we happened upon the letter "J." It just seemed like a great idea at the time. And, if you've ever sat down to investigate lists of names from the bible, many prominent people's begins with "J." Jesus. Joseph. Job. Jeremiah. Josiah. James. Jonah. Judas. Hmmmm. The list seems to head in a rather gloomy direction at that point. But wait! Jared, Joash, Jehoshaphat, Jemima. Well, we kept on researching.

Somewhere on that list, which is on some shelf in some journal I had with me during that road trip, we wrote the names Jedidiah, Joanna, Joshua and Joel. We looked up their meanings. We made mental notes. We wondered how many children we would have. We pondered the power of the meaning of a name. And then we stopped for breakfast in Amarillo, Texas.

After that, we didn't really think about it. Naming, that is. We pulled into Phoenix, got Trent settled in the home of some good friends, and counted down the days to our wedding (June 5th, 2000). 

Fast forward almost 13 years.  Now we have three boys and a girl. We try desperately to get the syllables straight in our heads before attempting to communicate with our children.  Oh yes, the meanings are wonderful, life-giving and of eternal import. It is cute to line up their names on a card like an exercise in alphabetizing. It's also wreaking mild havoc in our hallways. Joelidiah. Joashua. Jedi-ol. Joshuanna.  Surely the Lord didn't intend these combinations.

Thankfully, we have discovered a solution. Efficient. Practical. Straight-forward. Rarely mispronounced. We have a new nomenclature for our brood: the J-Crew.

Jedidiah--2 Samuel 12:24   Beloved of the LORD
Joanna--Luke 8:3  God is Gracious
Joel--Old Testament book   The LORD He is God
Joshua--Old Testament book   The LORD is Salvation

Our prayer is that each one of our children will come to know the truth of his or her name. Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.

Finish well

Like any teacher, I look forward to the last days of school. Mornings seems brighter, the air seems lighter. An openness pervades our smiles and deepens our laughter. The goal reaches out to meet us head on, and we grasp its wispy edges until the pithy core of completion squeezes between our fingers.

Two more days, then summer. Two more days, then de-scheduling. Two more days, then I begin my annual reading of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Breathe.

But two days is still two days. How I walk this path still matters. I'm not done yet.

This week I've been reading in the Gospel of Luke, chapters 20-21, about Jesus' last days with His disciples before His crucifixion. With typical kind forethought, Christ prepares them for their part in His ordeal while sharing an intimate supper, the Passover. This is it--the last time. Unawares, they argue about status, anticipating His grand coup over the Romans. Little do they know the greatest coup in history will seem like the ultimate defeat. 

Jesus does not break into hysterics at the thought of crucifixion just hours away. He does what is the least expected action: He serves them. He humbles Himself to the status of foot-washing slave. He blesses them. He encourages them. He lovingly warns them of their desertion, then paints the hope of restoration in clear tones.

He knows what I so need to remember each and every day: He isn't done yet. His charge is not complete. Two days. One day. Final hours. Each step of the way, Jesus persistently, tenaciously obeys His Father and seeks the good of His sheep.

How fickle my own determination grows as the road lengthens, the hill steepens, or the finish line distances itself from me. How complacent my journeying when all seems to shorten, smooth out, come easily.

But Jesus...oh my Savior....He stays the course as from the first. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8 NKJ). 

Judas. That one word conjures totally different emotions. Luke 21:4 says so matter-of-factly, "So he went his way...." Proverbs 14:12 states that there is a way that seems right to a man, but its ways lead to death. Judas persistently, tenaciously pursues that way, his own way. The way of the enemy.

My prayer today is this: Heavenly Father, so often it's the last steps before the finish line that are the most telling. However I have run the race this school year, however many times I've fallen and gotten back up, or sprinted miraculously through a difficult season, let these last steps be the best of all. Not for my own glory or even for my children's  benefit, but because my Savior, my eternal greatest Example, stayed true to the last moment. Help me keep Him like a beacon before me.

Help me finish well.

"When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory." Colossians 3:3

What if?

Do you ever ponder the what if's?

What if I had said "yes"? What if I had said "no"? What if we had not sold that house? What if I had pushed myself a little bit harder and done that last thing on the list yesterday instead of waiting until today? What if we had prayed more? What if the job disappears? What if.....

What if I spent more time pondering eternity? What if I took God at His Word day by day, situation by situation? What if I submitted completely to the Holy Spirit's work in my life and the lives of my family members? What if I lived like all of His promises were true?

If you're like me, as a believer in Christ Jesus as my Savior, you might sometimes wonder what your life would be like today if you hadn't trusted Him for your salvation...if you hadn't  been redeemed....if your sins hadn't been forgiven....

If there were a parallel universe of Bridget "without," what would I see? Who would I be? Some things might still be the same. I might still be writing poetry or music, for example. I might still be a people person. I might still be a wife and mother. But without Jesus, without His Spirit--without Hope, I would be on a journey with no good end. A futile quest.

Awhile ago I was considering these things and wrote down some thoughts in rhyme:

Praise God that I will never know

All the things that might have been

Had He not rescued me below

And drew me from the bonds of sin.

Oh there were times all looking on

Must have wondered at my state;

For I myself thought hope was gone—

I did not know God was so Great!

So persistent, God, so true,

He unpacked every musty box.

He opened every window, too,

And, one by one, undid the locks.

That clean, clear Light reached everywhere

And burned away the mold and grime.

He made me home, and still lives there,

And will until the end of Time.

And when the final tick and tock

Fades into silent end of days,

My feet will still be on the Rock

And forever I will sing His praise!

BG 2011

God is faithful. 

So, what are YOUR thoughts as you look back over life? What's YOUR perspective? I'll go get some tea and give you thinking space....

Fluff

So...the big moment. Blogging.  Shouldn't be intimidating, right? Just a keyboard, a screen, a font, a theme, stepping off into the bright unknown. But then, there's this, well, other part. Me.

I'm not sure I can just whip something up and serve it on a nice platter and leave it at that. Decorative presentation isn't my strong point. But if you're looking for a strong cup of coffee or tea--or lemonade--some tasty munchies, and a conversation in the shade, come and sit with me. I'll share some of my story. And I'll look forward to some of yours!

 A long time ago I began to learn that we will only ever really be excellent at being who God made us. Every other pursuit is Fluff. From a distance, though, Fluff can be convincing. Enticing. Addicting. The journey toward it is scintillating, exciting, alluring. And those cheerleaders along the way unrelentingly urge us onward. Pride. Fear. Recognition. Guilt. Rebellion. Shame. Unbelief. Self-reliance. Each convincing, surely, in its own way, disguised as Important, Necessary, Fulfilling.

But Fluff will ever only betray.

We will only ever really be excellent at being who God made us. That's the 'extra' which 'ordinary' needs.

How many are seeking to measure up to the wrong standard? Yep, sometimes it's me. Sometimes it's you. What IS the standard--what if you could only choose one?

I'm no theologian, but I do believe the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, as the author of Hebrews relates. Many challenging verses call to me, but I will share this one which so pierces my life and draws me away from Fluff to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ:

"I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

A Song begun on February 10, 2013
You may not feel extraordinary,
You may not feel remarkable.
You might think what you're doing
is a ripple in the sea.
As morning touches morning
each day shouts an anxious warning
that you've failed to measure up
to what you think you ought to be.

Turn your eyes on Jesus.
He is the Vine; abide in Him.
Turn your eyes on Jesus.
He is the Vine; abide in Him.


So, goodbye, Fluff. I'm sure we'll meet again, sooner than I care to think. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. One day at a time.

Thanks for sharing some of your time, reader-friend. Let's do this again, soon.